My new song about the debacle of the 2016 Presidential race.

“I believe that voting for the lesser of two evils in game theory will always lead to more evil.” This quote from noted Libertarian, magician and entertainer Penn Jillette about the 2012 Presidential race pretty much sums up things in 2016. When the choices for the highest office in the land are so bad that companies are making TV commercials about moving to Canada, it’s a clear sign that people are fed up.

The three current Democratic and Republican candidates are a sad reminder that people don’t give a fat rat’s ass about anything anymore. Even the Homeowner’s Association where I live has to beg for new members. No one wants to run for an office that is truly a thankless, time consuming position. I wonder what kind of members we’d get if it was a paid position. The President of The United States gets $400,000 a year, free protection, drivers, air travel, state-of-the-art healthcare, a huge pension and can nuke any nation that pisses him or her off. Hell, I’d do it for the nuke button alone.

Along with all the great perks, the President is also fodder for the press. Any skeletons in his or her closet will eventually come out. God forbid if a photographer gets a nose picking shot. The scrutiny is so bad that many qualified potential candidates won’t consider running for the office. So we get what we get.

It does seem particularly bad this year, much worse than most. I thought Romney vs. Obama was bad, but this year the remaining three choices are the worst I’ve ever seen. As I see it, we have an egotistical megalomaniac, a power mad very angry woman and an unrealistic dreamer.

What can we do? I checked and I’m too old to immigrate to Canada. Plus, it’s Canada for God’s sake. It’s cold and they talk funny. How about Europe? Lots of personal hygiene issues there as I recall. The Caribbean? I never wanted to be one coup away from being a political prisoner

Maybe Australia? No Second Amendment there and that just wouldn’t work for me. Same deal with Asia. Africa? If I wanted to live where it was hot and humid most of the time I would have stayed in Nashville. Likewise with Central and South America. And forget the Middle East. You can’t curse there. Fuck that!

No, I really don’t want to live anywhere else. I am an American. I’ve always been proud of my country. Not the government but my country. There’s a big difference.

There is a slim possibility that a “dark horse” candidate, one who will be much better equipped for the office than the current three, will emerge from one of the conventions. I refer to that in my song “None of the Above.” Chances of this are extremely low but, as they say, hope springs eternal.

My worries about all of this are probably moot. After this blog and the song I imagine a government SUV will grab me up and I’ll be spending my twilight years in a black site somewhere offshore. Wonder if I’ll hate waterboarding as much as I hate water parks? Hope they have more than basic cable.

God bless the United States of America!

©2016 Steve Bryant – No portion may be copied, reprinted or broadcast in any medium without express written consent of the author.

TV Shopping Host and Coach, Musician, Author, Teacher.

One Comment on “None of the Above

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